Family, school of reciprocity

“Married life is like a boat,” said a family from Peru, “If you’re paddling by yourself, it’s tiring and you don’t get anywhere. Together you need to learn the art of reciprocity.”

“We came because we feel the need to grow our family life and help others,” added a couple from Cameroon as they arrived at the FamilyHighlights meeting, which was held March 10-12 in Loppiano, Italy.

The event, which marked the 50th anniversary of New Families, welcomed close to 1,000 families of different cultures and religions from 50 countries. It was connected to other gatherings worldwide held in memory of the ninth anniversary of Chiara Lubich’s passing.

“Loving others as yourself, loving everyone, being the first to love, becoming one with others” –simple rules that the families of the international Loreto School emphasized as they welcomed everyone. This “art of loving” gives families the strength to renew themselves through trust, forgiveness, accountability, creativity, hospitality.

These are seeds of communion that can even shed light on painful, challenging and traumatic situations. They show that “anger and distress do not have the last word,” said Gianni, who coordinates a group of 50 people who are separated.

People’s stories and activities surfaced during the lively exchanges during the six workshops. One was for 150 children; other workshops were dedicated to couple dynamics in the various stages of life, educating children, and hospitality and solidarity with the disadvantaged in difficult situations.

There were a few families from Syria, who found positive energy to face the fear and many difficulties caused by war. “That flower, which we attached at the end of the event, we’re also bringing it symbolically to other families and to everyone around us as a sign of fraternity and hope,” they said.

In her address, Focolare President Maria Voce invited those present to be mothers and fathers of humanity, personally contributing to “sustain and encourage universal fraternity.” Families, despite the imperfections and fragility that they share with the human condition, can offer the world a light and love that heals when they themselves have been renewed.

Sharing from a number of groups, as well as the activities for couples, whether they were young, in crisis, separated and remarried, or widowed gave witness to the 50-year efforts of New Families on five continents. There were also projects and activities to support children and meet the needs of the most vulnerable.

“Continue everything you are doing, and don’t get discouraged when it’s difficult or it seems like you’re all alone,” urged Voce.

Families are called to respond to social issues, even by simply looking at the world through the eyes of a child, Dr. Vinu Aram explained. She is director at Shanti Ashram, with which the Focolare has had a close friendship and collaboration that has benefited many children and families in India through AFNonlus.

“The effort that you are making here,” comments Fr. Paolo Gentili, who directs the Italian church’s family pastoral office, Ufficio Nazionale per la Pastorale della Famiglia, “contributes to build a church that is attentive to the good that the Spirit sows in the midst of weakness.” To do this is to “write Amoris Laetitia on the living pages of history.”

After these many years, the need emerged to establish an advanced study center that is both international and interdisciplinary, a marriage of life and thought. This has begun as part of the Sophia University Institute, with the aim of deepening the understanding of family in the light of Chiara Lubich’s charism.

“We need to move from the question, ‘Does someone love me?’ – our primal need for love –to ‘Am I loving someone?’ – which is the will to love,” said Professor Michele De Beni to a group of academics from various fields during FamilyHighlights.

He is one of the coordinators of the study, “The pact of reciprocity in family life.”

“The challenge of reciprocity,” he concluded, “is the founding premise of the group that, before it starts any research, it identifies with.”

Giovanna Pieroni