Being the eldest girl, I found that the gravity of the situation weighed mostly on me. My parents spoke with me for hours over the telephone narrating their anger for each other. I felt really alone in that period, without any points of reference. I felt God distant from me: I only experienced His silence.

One day, when by then I had thought that the situation could not have worsened further, my mother called saying what her advocate has suggested: to get me and my sister to testify in court against my father, because she felt that it was the only way to quickly conclude the separation case.

My world fell apart! I felt torn within: in fact, my father had treated us badly and then unfortunately I had never been able to establish a strong relationship with him. Besides a few days earlier, he had done something really mean: it was my birthday and he called me not to wish me (he had forgotten about it) but to give vent to his feelings and complain as usual about my mother.

However, in that moment of great desperation, after months of ‘silence” I felt once again God’s voice clear and strong within me. It told me not be overwhelmed by anger and to think only of loving, always and in spite of everything,  without expecting anything in return.

I took courage and told my mother that I wouldn’t testify against my father. She reacted badly by getting angry and accusing me of not wanting to help her. We didn’t speak again for many days, during which I suffered a lot, notwithstanding the conviction that my “no” to her was a “yes” to God.

Unexpectedly, from that moment onwards, things began to get better. Little by little all the various issues got resolved and above all my parents realised that they shouldn’t involve us children in their problems. When the crisis was over, my mother understood and accepted my decision, and our relationship was further strengthened. Things improved even with my father because he learned about my decision and was “struck by my courage”.

Now I experience within me a completely new strength, serenity, and faith, stemming from the certainty that I’m not alone, even in moments when I don’t feel His voice, He is always besides me. And if it’s true that God asks one to leave everything to follow Him, what he finally gives in return is much more valuable than anything that’s given up. It is truly the promised hundredfold!”.

(T. – Italy)

The homage to Oreste Basso during his funeral celebrations on the 15^th April 2013 began with the words: “The Holy Father wishes to express his deep condolences to the entire Focolare Movement”. This message signed by the Secretary of State, cardinal Bertone, was read by Maria Voce. It also remembered “his generous service to the Church as a fervent priest who did his utmost to joyously proclaim the gospel and zealously witness to charity”.

Cardinal Bertone, who knew Oreste Basso personally in the course of discussions on some details of the Focolare Movement’s (Work of Mary) statutes, also expressed his own thoughts through a letter to the Focolare president. It read: “I was impressed with his keen listening to advice and his total willingness to collaborate. I experienced a sense of true fraternity with him, which left me with this feeling of friendship even later on when we no longer meet. I sensed the fineness of his soul as a fellow priest, in the Movement, without authoritarianism. It served me as an example.”

The president of the Pontifical Council for the Laity, Cardinal Rylko, wrote: “I appreciated his clarity of ideas and his profoundness as witness to the gospel”. He considered him as “a faithful and an untiring collaborator of Chiara Lubich”; “His being a priest with a heart conformed to that of Jesus shone beyond his amiable trait, and he witnessed to the flowering that the Movement’s charism can bring about of the grace of the sacrament of priesthood”.

Marco Tecilla, the first focolarino and Oreste’s fellow companion for many years right till the final moments of his life, narrated his story. He said it was only a brief presentation of a life lived to the fullest.

Oreste Basso, a focolarino who was amongst the closest collaborators of Chiara Lubich since the 50s, passed away peacefully at the age of 91 between Saturday night and Sunday 14^th April morning. He can be described as a “giant” of the Focolare. During his lifetime, he undertook various functions of great responsibility in governing the Movement, thereby becoming an eloquent witness to the charism of unity. Ordained a priest in 1981, he considered the ministry as a service and a calling to a greater love. He was elected Co-president of the Movement in 1996 and he exercised a fundamental role at the time of the foundress’ death (14^th March 2008) and during the General Assembly that followed (July 2008). During this assembly, which was the first of its kind for the Focolare, the person who was to succeed Chiara Lubich as president was elected.

Born in Florence on the 1^st January 1922, he met the Focolare in Milan in 1949, when he along with his friends (Piero Pasolini, Danilo Zanzucchi, Guglielmo Boselli, Giorgio Battisti), who later all became focolarini, heard Ginetta Caliari speak at the university canteen. He worked for a prestigious firm in Milan as engineer and inspector of locomotive engines. In those difficult years that followed World War II, the spirituality and life of the Movement based on the gospel were for him a discovery of a force, which with others would have given back peace, progress and hope to the world. In 1951 he opened the first male focolare in the main town of the Lombard region along with other companions. At the end of the 50s, Chiara Lubich called him to be at the Centre of the Movement in Castelli Romani, where he exercised his functions in a spirit of service. Everyone who met him experienced a deep sense of being family.

The Centre of the Focolare is receiving messages from all over the world expressing condolences and a deep gratitude for Oreste Basso’s tireless work in service of the Church, the Movement, and for his vividly evangelical life. Some spoke of “a sanctity with a sense of humour” bringing to mind this wonderful gift he possessed.

Oreste’s last words reveal his deep relationship with Mary that marked his whole life: “Beautiful, wonderful, amazing, Paradise. There’s Our Lady… we must pray, above all we must help the poor and the weakest who are the ones most in need of mercy”.

Marco Tecilla while concluding said: “We always asked Chiara for a sentence of the gospel to guide us during our lifetime, and Chiara proposed to Oreste the phrase: “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1Cor 11,1). Now that he has completed his journey, we feel that Oreste recommends this sentence to each one of us”.

A sudden and unexpected decline in his health over the last few days led to his death a half an hour after midnight. His life, the richness of his humanity and his smile are imprinted upon the hearts of thousands of persons he encouraged in the long years he spent in the service of God and the ideal of unity, which he got to know in his youth in Milan.

We will write more of his life story at a later date. In the meantime, those who wish to honour him may do so in the chapel of the International Centre of the Focolare Movement, in Rocca di Papa, where from 2 o’clock this afternoon (Italian time) he will be lying in state.

The funeral will be tomorrow, 15 April, at 15:00, at the Focolare International Centre in Rocca di Papa.

She went on to explain, ‘We thought we’d built a solid relationship, and yet bit by bit we came to the point of not understanding one another anymore. There was no dialogue between us and the days passed by in utter bleakness, what with work and other chores to do, crushed by our family problems. We became indifferent to each another, perhaps because we had taken our love for granted.

‘For my part,’ Stefano said, ‘I had let myself become absorbed by a pile of worries at work and they were always on my mind. Silvia tried to make me understand her difficulties, but I was caught up in the whirl of business and I saw only the surface of things. Between Silvia and me the wall was so high that even our children noticed it. It was at that point that I realized how much I was hurting us and people round about us. During a New Families meeting we felt we should talk about our problem. We were accepted without reserve just as we were and appreciated for our sincerity.

‘Later we heard about the Course to Strengthen the Unity of Couples held in Loppiano, an international little town of the Focolare, in Italy. It deals specifically with moments of crisis. We went to one with a desire to start again.

‘Sharing with other couples who had the same problems we did really helped: we were not alone in facing these things that at the beginning we were too ashamed to tell anyone.

‘That week for us was like relighting the flame. We realized that we had to give space to one another and harmony returned between us. Our children were the first to benefit from our newfound peace.’

The Course to Strengthen the Unity of Couples looks at issues to do with self-knowledge, diversity, conflict, acceptance and there are moments of facing the problems head on, others of dialogue, practical exercises, and everything is interspersed with moments of relaxing together and trips out.

The good relations among the people taking part helps the gradual coming together of the couple.

Often the couple find their own feet and manage to go ahead on their own, sometimes a specific wound is spotted requiring particular attention, even, if need be, with psychological support.

If the time together proves especially challenging, there is the possibility for couples to come back for special courses in the winter and the spring. In these weekends, often families from previous years wish to give a hand because they have benefitted from those who have helped before them.

Soon after marrying we met a girl who was around a year old. She was in the care of a centre for children with severe disabilities where my wife as working as a volunteer. Following a period of probation we were invited to adopt the child. Through her we experienced that maternity and paternity are more a matter of the soul and that it can reach beyond biology. Regrettably the bureaucracy forced us to give up our plan. But joy returned to us when our first son was born in Asia. This long and drawn out experience was our first encounter with the culture of the East where we lived for two years.

After returning to Italy we had our second son and then came the idea of adoption. We decided to approach the Focolare Movement’s Azione per Famiglie Nuove (New Families Projects) Foundation. On August 1st, they telephoned us to say that we should prepare to travel to Vietnam. We were there for a month and it was a truly beautiful adventure. Our firstborn – nine years old at the time – said “It was like giving birth all together.” The most touching moment was when my wife too her into her arms for the first time, and then we all held her. We visited Saigon and got to know about our daughter’s background. After a few days she began to smile; first for her brothers, as if she knew what an important role she would play in their lives and in the life of our family. They learnt to make room for her like when the second-born who was already six years old and loved to be in his father’s arms, was able to give up his place to the baby.

The network of families that we belong to since returning to Italy has turned out to be an important part of the experience we are living. It’s like one big extended family comprised of adoptive families from Vietnam and other countries. We also take long trips in order to meet and allow our children to grow with the awareness that adoption is a natural experience that many families share. It’s also a great opportunity to see that love is possible among people of different origins.

Our little daughter is now nine years old and is such a beautiful girl, well integrated both at school and in her larger family. With her two brothers she plays a lot of boys’ games but has managed to maintain her sweet and delicate charm. She love music and dancing and attends Celtic harp lessons with her mother.

The last few years – so beautiful but also so intense – led us to focus on the needs of our daughter. Now we may have to make up for a few lost steps with the other two. But the wave of springtime that has come into our family with her love for life and bubbly sweetness which is typical of her native land helps us to overcome even the most difficult and stormy of days.

Compiled by: Marzia Rigliani

Source: “Spazio Famiglia, Azione per familiglie nuove” monthly newsletter (www.afonlus.org), March 2013, pp. 12-13

With these words, the president Maria Voce encouraged the gen (youth of the Focolare) in Pakistan to follow the path of Muneeb Sohail. He died after being hit by a bullet during the heavy and violent clashes last January in Karachi, while he was returning home with another gen after an English lesson. Unfortunately, such clashes frequently occur in this southern metropolis of the country.

Muneeb would have turned 20 next May. Right from an early age, he had begun to live and appreciate within his family the spirituality of unity.

He had lost his father as a child. When he grew up, he took it upon himself to pass on the lifestyle he had discovered to youth as well as to younger children.

He used to say that in order to “deepen and understand it better”, he went to live together with other gen during the spring of 2012. He made an indelible impression on them. Speaking of him they said: “For me he was an angel. He taught me to live with God. He was a true friend for us children”; “When I first met him, he immediately shared with me his experiences and his life, and he never missed an opportunity to love concretely”.

On 7^th October last year, a month after the large international event in Budapest, the Genfest was also held in Karachi despite the tense situation prevailing in the city. Muneeb was at the forefront during the preparations and in the programme, adhering to and spreading the ideal of a United World.

On 17^th January, while greeting his mother, Muneeb said: “I’m happy to give my life to Jesus”.

And now the baton passes on to all the gen in the world, to all those who support the United World Project – UWP, and to all those who feel called to build bridges of peace and brotherhood everywhere.

But Sandra was so strongly determined that we couldn’t say no to her request. So it was that we decided to put our prejudgements aside and welcome her friend as our own daughter. Little by little, as the girl felt our love, she began to reveal some of the problems in her family. She stayed with us a few days and then, as she was leaving, thanked us very much. In reality it was we who were grateful to our daughter for having given us the opportunity to open our hearts and to create such a deep relationship with her friend. Later, along with our daughter she helped to organize projects for the victims of earthquakes, gathering a large collection of clothing, toys and Easter eggs.

One day we were all surprised by our son, Massimo, when he opened the door of our home to a poor man and his young son. Massimo ran to his bedroom and returned with a small model car, his favourite, which he gave to the child. When he grew older Massimo seemed to distance himself from us, to be indifferent to what we said to him, intolerant of our willingness to help others. We knew as parents that this was no time to assail him with sermons but we were sure that God would continue to show him the correct path. Last year, as he was about to board a plane that would take him to another country for his studies, he handed us a letter for his friends. He told us we could also read it. It was his way of revealing the treasures in his soul, that we weren’t able to see. It was such an unexpected gift and it filled the void in our hearts.

We had always tried to transmit to our children a sense of openness towards everyone. This was how the story with Joe began. The doorbell rang. When we opened the door, we were met by a young Nigerian man who wanted to sell us some household goods. Like many of his countrymen, he supported himself as a travelling salesman. We bought a few things, a kitchen mop, a small kitchen tool. But its seemed little. We invited him inside, we exchanged telephone numbers and promised to invite him to one of our gatherings in the parish.

As the day of the gathering drew near, we remembered Joe. We were doubtful as we telephoned, but he answered with enthusiasm saying: ‘Everyone is polite at first, but then they immediately forget you.’ From then on a strong bond of friendship was formed between us. We shared in his difficulties and helped him to find a job, which wasn’t easy due to his immigration status. We found him a place to live and helped him in many things. Joe then married and had a son. When he asked us to be the godparents of the little one, we were deeply moved as we considered the long and profound friendship that had been formed between us, one of the many friendships that were born by opening the door of our home.”

(Maria Luisa and Giovanni, Italy)

Most of the people come from parishes in the suburbs of Buenos Aires. The first year we were 23. This time 115 have taken part in the thirteenth edition with 115 staying the whole week. Up until now more than 1200 people have taken part in it.

“The main thing,” says Omar, “is to love with the power of the present moment, being attentive towards others, seeing each other with new eyes in every moment.” This means forgetting about the defects or misunderstanings with those whom we have known for a long time. “Otherwise,” Omar continues, “it wouldn’t be so nice to stay together for a week in small teams that have to take turns cooking, washing dishes, serving table, and maintaining the surroundings.”

“This is like a training course,” Susana adds, “in which we learn to help each other in overcoming painful situations or conflicts. Whenever we feel bothered by others, it is this living together teaches us to accept and accommodate to the discomfort we feel.” Then interpersonal relationships are brought to a new level.

Spiritual deepening, sharing what we live, “also the sufferings. . .” Susana continues, “some difficult situations are resovled in this communion. The highest moment is the Mass. The rest of the day is spent on the beach, playing, taking walks, chatting and relaxing.”

The spiritual growth of the participants and the impact on youths is something that should be mentioned: “The youths are growong in number, but also in quality. You see it in their love for the elderly and for the small children. and in their relationship with each other. Some young adults have already begun families, others have had an experiene at Mariapolis Lia or attended the Genfest in Budapest. One of the girls was able to attend WYD in Spain thanks to the support she received from everyone. Now she’s the contact person for the WYD in Rio de Janeiro. We’ve also been joined by consecrated people, members of other Churches, seminarians and several priests.”

As one person put it who was participating for the first time, this is an exprience of brotherhood that continues on throughout the year in the parishes.

Compiled by Carlos Mana

Does the child have a right? And in order to raise him or her, is it really necessary that the parenting figures be a mother and a father?

130 educators of the New Families Movement from over twenty countries reflected on questions such as these during the Study Seminar held at the Mariapoli Centre of Castel Gandolfo (Rome) from 10^th to 13^th January 2013.

The conference was part of a three-year project that began last year and aims at providing, to all those who are committed to the family, suitable means to deal with the new cultural challenges that touch all our lives.

The participants are mostly married couples, owing to the particular credibility they enjoy before other families, and the ability to grasp the needs thanks to their own lived experiences.

After last year’s reflections on the dynamics of marriage relationships, some issues of a particular relevance were identified: responsible procreation, artificial insemination techniques, homosexuality, the ideology of gender.

The proceedings brought into evidence the significance and value of human sexuality, based on the Christian anthropological vision, with specific in-depth analysis through workshops dedicated to dialogue and the exchange of ideas and experiences. These moments of discussion proved particularly efficacious due to the internationality of the contributions and the expertise of the participants, both on the professional front and their experience of training courses, shared with other couples and families from different parts of the world.

Thanks to the simultaneous translation in seven languages, the participants could be divided into three multicultural work groups in which a lively and effective comparison between the USA and the Philippines, between Eastern and Western Europe, between the Middle East and Africa, Brazil and Latina America was brought about.

Marisa: “I intended to go back to work as soon as the children (1 and 3 years old) were old enough. But then my mother, a very sweet and active 60 year old came down with Alzheimer’s. Very soon she was no longer self-sufficient. We decided with my father to care for her at home without knowing what we were going to encounter. My husband, Francesco never hesitated either. But right from the start the implications of the disease began to test our relationiship and the equilibrium of the whole family.”

Francesco: “As a boy I had to share my mother’s affection with her job and with my grandparents who were living with us. And so when I married Marisa it seemed logical to me that she would be all for me and would have smothered me with attention. But in reality I found myself with many problems that had to be faced. Then when I had to begin to care for the members of her family, our marriage went into crisis. I felt like running away and, seeing that my job required me to travel great distances to visit clients, I often slept outside the house, leaving Marisa with the burden of two families.”

Marisa: “It wasn’t easy for me to accept seeing such a great change in the person who was my anchor in life, to see that in some moments she didn’t recognize me anymore, and at times it was also an effort for me to recognize her. When my father’s mind and body began to fail, my relationship with Francesco also seemed to waver. I found support in the Gospel: “But to those who did accept him he gave power to become children of God” (Jn. 1:12). But I had to continually overcome myself. Precisely during those days a couple we knew invited us to a day meeting organised by the Focolare. We were conquered by the love that we saw being lived and we embarked on a journey with other families who were engaged in living the spirituality of the Focolare.”

Francesco: “Suddenly I came down with a grave illness and was admitted to hospital. I was angry with the whole world! Then, these words of Chiara Lubich returned to my mind: “Our health (is) ‘being a family’ . . . Are there any among you that are suffering physically? . . . Suffer with them.” I tried to put this into practice with the person in the next bed, then with an old woman whom everyone seemed to ignore. . . Little by little I began to understand Marisa’s way of loving who, after the children and her mother to care for, always found the time to visit me two times a day. I found myself at peace with her and with my life. And from then on I shared every choice and decision with her, especially the ones that cost me the most. Now I was no longer frightened by the illness. I became peaceful. Six months later the illness disappeared.”

Marisa: “Now we feel that any illness is given to us so that we can grow as persons by growing in love. I loved my mother, but now I love her in a new way that gives new significance and dignity to each of my actions. And love heals. Even when she seemed to everyone to be nothing more than a vegetable, unable to be engaged, a more intensely loving gesture would brighten her eyes and show that she was more present than we thought. She would mutter words of ackowledgement, liberating tears that I would then share. And this gave me such strength and joy that no one will be able to erase it from my soul. So it was for ten years.”

Francesco: This undertaking has not prevented us from being open to others, offering hospitality, for example, to a sick relative, sharing her joys and suffering. We also open our home to family groups and engaged couples for formation meetings.For three years we’ve had Marisa’s 98 year old father with us in our house. At times we almost have the idea of finding another solution for him so that we can have some autonomy. But we know that he would suffer much if we did this and we’re convinced that his life and dignity are what’s most important”.