December 7 1943: That “Yes, for ever”

It was December 7 1943. This is how she remembers the moment, early in the morning, when she went alone to the Collegio Serafico of the Capuchins. In the chapel a priest was waiting for her. During Holy Communion, she said her “yes, for ever” to God, the rock on which everything began:

Imagine a young girl who is in love, in love with a love which is the first love, the purest one, as yet undeclared but which is already burning in her soul.

There is one difference. A young girl who is in love like this here on earth has before her the image of her loved one. This girl does not see him, does not hear or touch her loved one, or sense his fragrance with the senses of the body but rather with the senses of her soul, through which love has entered and taken complete possession of her.

So she feels a special joy, one which is difficult to experience again in life, a joy which is secret, serene, jubilant. The church was beautifully decorated. On the back wall was a painting of Mary Immaculate.

Before Communion I saw in an instant what I was about to do. Through my consecration to God, I was crossing a bridge. The bride was collapsing behind me. I would never be able to go back into the world. I was getting married. I was marrying God. And it was that God who later would show himself as the Abandoned One.

Opening my eyes to what I was doing in that moment was, I remember, something immediate and brief, but so strong that I shed a tear which fell on my missal.

I think I ran all the way home, stopping only once, near the bishop’s house, to buy three red carnations for the crucifix awaiting me in my room. They would be a sign of the feast day celebrated by everyone.

 

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