A lifelong adventure together

The 460 couples who attended the meeting organised by New Families from 17- 20 March didn’t hide their doubts and fears for the future but nor did they hide their strong enthusiasm about giving a solid base to their relationship.

In 1975 Chiara Lubich had the idea of offering pre-marriage formation. Since then New Families presents the opportunity for engaged couples to verify their project for a lifetime together.

The title “There is only one love” also served as a proposal: to graft human love onto the love which is rooted in God. This strengthens the couple, stimulating values of gratuity, initiative and the capacity to forgive. “What will we bring away with us? The evangelical art of loving- a treasure, a legacy for the married life that awaits us”, commented one of the participating couples.

There were translations in 9 different languages for the participants who came from all over Europe to the Mariapolis Centre in Castelgandolfo (Rome). The group was extremely heterogeneous: newly-engaged couples alongside those who are very close to their wedding day; couples who already live together and others who are civilly wed; young people from the Focolare and other Ecclesial Movements; people from various churches as well as some with no-religious affiliation. However there was one common denominator: the desire to discover how love can stay alive throughout time and to deepen the commitment to marriage.

This lifelong dedication implies a choice which is fascinating whilst challenging, because of the responsibility required, and ever more difficult due to the insecurity surrounding work and housing. Openness about the balance already obtained and willingness to learn to make common decisions in the face of life’s crossroads are therefore fundamental.

“They were 4 extremely intense days!!!” Elena remarked, “They were also a bit difficult to tell you the truth because there were some questions to resolve and synchronize between the two of us. During the convention we dealt with them all and it wasn’t pain-free. On the other hand the course was an ultimate blessing: being surrounded by so much love was vital. We are trying to learn the ‘art of loving’… a tortuous but thrilling adventure!!!”

Differences when reciprocally welcomed can be a richness. During the period of engagement the couple therefore needs to evaluate whether or not these differences are compatible for a lifetime together and partners needs to reflect on their capacity to accept each other.

To assist this process the convention offered roundtable discussions, sharing of experiences and dialogue. Married couples and experts spoke on a comprehensive range of topics (affective formation, relationship with ‘family of origin’, work and family finance, sacrament of marriage, communication and fertility) and to further deepen these issues there were group meetings and workshops where, through sharing, there was the chance for partners to get to know each other in an ever deeper way.