I remember the first time I felt that I could love our children in a different way, love them like a mother does. One day I just walked past the bedroom of our son and I noticed how messy it was – unmade bed, clothes on the floor, messy everywhere. Immediately my blood began to boil. “This child knows that his bed should be made and the room cleaned up,” I thought, “This is laziness and disobedience.
In my anger I wanted to find it and do a bit ‘to take it back with force! But then I asked myself: “How would a mother behave in this case?” I knew the answer. He would have had a feeling for the child, his tiredness, his homework, or anything else, and he would have prepared the bed for him. Would he do well or grow up a spoiled brat?
There was a bit of a fight inside, but something told me to give it another chance. So I redid the bed for him and cleaned the room. Surprisingly, at least, I left the room feeling really good and happy.
Since I did not point out anything to him, I was really surprised when, a few days later, I discovered that someone had made my bed before I got there. Guess who?
That simple incident marked the beginning of a new relationship with my son and within the family. The focus is now on mutual love and trust, rather than imposed discipline.
And it not only works, but we are also much happier.