What if we send stress on vacation?

Time, communication, regeneration, the whole family, holidays for couples or with others. Some useful advice.

Everyday life takes over and there are many young couples who struggle to survive without
stifling their relationship or even themselves. Some are open to advice or to at least compare themselves with other couples, others just muddle along but daily routine really risks taking over and can even harm and  cause a break up. In this situation the long-awaited holidays can be a panacea for refocusing on a relationship or  can be a battlefield. Let’s look at the pros and cons of some aspects to which we must give our full attention.

Time.  If during the working week the time for “WE” is always limited, and in the presence of children it is even more so, on holiday you are confronted with your spouse 24 hr on 24hr.
There is time for everything, from the slow and cuddly awakening, to the menu to prepare, to decide what slippers to buy, to decide how to manage boredom and enthusiasm, to sort out some problems which are still hanging around and to stay up late in the moonlight. Giving up the concept of time and routine which has ruled for 11 months may not be easy, but this is what a holiday is about.
Living in the present, freeing the mind of other thoughts and  programes is the basic ingredient to relax and put to good use your time together.

Communication. Couples who are good at communication rejoice at having more time together
and may even be surprised that there can be a moment of unusual silence. Who, in every day life, without wanting to,  has sacrificed communication, finds that on holiday there is an opportunity to practice it again.  You can just start communicating again, starting with your thoughts, reflections, you can share your intentions even before you start to take an interest in your partner and what they would have to communicate .
For some couples who have broken or not easy communication, a holiday may risk becoming a  battlefield precisely because of the longer time they spend together. For those who do not love to talk a lot it may be preferable to organize things to do together; better if agreed before.  In the most critical cases it might be useful to draw up a list of the taboo topics not to be touched on, at least for now while on holiday , in order to relax and it should especially be so if the holidays are
shared with others.

Regeneration.  A Vacation should be primarily for this; to free the mind, to keep programs to the minimum, to dedicate oneself to the things one likes,to  discover new ones, to explore and broaden  knowledge about oneself , our neighbors and the creation. Silence is important and so is doing sweet  nothing. Really,, regeneration is an individual thing.  That is why it is  important to listen to one’s own rhythm and tune in to it, bearing in mind that a holiday is not only for  personal regeneration  but should also be for that of the couple and the family.

The complete family . Going on holiday with the whole family and leaving stress at home may seem like a difficult task but this has to do with general parental apprehensions and with those little  personal and group arrangements that you are called upon to make from time to time. Even small and creative changes of perspective can help

Holidays as a couple There is a time for everything, just don’t be repetitive. Habit is the enemy of relationships. Indulge from time to time in a holiday as a couple, it helps to refocus on each other, it’s a way to rediscover  each other  even after years in a relationship. Each year it is important to listen to the needs that the couple has and based on this, decide what kind of holiday you will take: with or without  your children, with friends or  with relatives, or do something different . Everything is fine as long as it feels it’s the right moment .. And why not, you could accompany your partner to fulfill a dream.                                                                                                              Holidays with others For those who always organize a holiday with their families of origin or with friends it is important not to go just as a habit but that behind the repetitiveness there is the choice as a  couple to spend their holiday exactly like this. The risks are, that it’s convenient, or the fear of disappointing, or the need to have a baby sitter  and to have  the possibility to enjoy an evening for two without your children, leaving them to friends or grandparents.
It’s all right, as long as the couple have openly discussed this choice and feel free to change the program  when they notices that something is too much at that moment.
Space for regeneration, communication and the general rhythm as a couple, disappear in the company of others, although on the other hand we will live many other moments that can nourish  bonds and  a sense of belonging . Holidays are a time to relax, to regenerate personally, as a couple, as a family and with others, with relations and with old and new friends,

YES  to self-expression,  to proposals or making requests, to giving up controlling time and organization, and to the wonder of  rediscovering oneself.

NO to repetitive scripts and the care given to maintain the secondary advantages that
create and sustain unhealthy bonds and entanglements, which risk to obscure even the pleasure
of being together. And remember to also put in your suitcase  a little humour and lots of playfulness, vivacity and light heartedness.

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