Focolare Movement

«Amnesty of the heart»

Sep 28, 2006

Experience of a regional Attorney, specialized in antinarcotics: she accepted to be fired, in order not to give up to corruption. Hers was a radical choice, that produced much fruit, in her family and in her new work place

  I had been regional Attorney in Colombia, specialized in antinarcotics, for about 11 years. In my position, I have had to deal with numerous criminal charges against organized crime, winning 98% of the cases. I have always known that every crime touched the life of a person or a family, that every criminal had the right to respect, love, consideration, despite the serious nature, legally speaking, of the wrong committed. I felt happy in doing a task that gave me the chance to live constantly with God. I also felt personally rewarded and professionally fulfilled, besides having a secure financial base. I had an excellent team that I could count on; all expert investigators with real values and professional conduct. Corruption, however, was trying to filter into all aspects of public life, especially among those who work in the legal arena. My integrity and attitude of “no-half measures” influenced the whole team, and this made it so that the investigations always took place with respect and within the limits of justice. One day we “touched” someone who thought he was beyond the law. The offer was made immediately: various millions that could have guaranteed us real financial security. I could not accept, I could not give in or pretend that nothing had transpired. From that moment on, things changed for me, in my family and in my daily life. After I refused the offer, I began to be threatened. I was pressured by my higher-ups and then was finally let go, together with one of my best investigators who, like me, had not given in to corruption. Inside I felt very bitter, full of mistrust and disappointment. I lived alone with my two children because my husband had abandoned me years ago. Looking at my sons, so defenseless, I thought that God permits everything to happen for our sanctification and that I was paying the price to remain on the narrow road. Together with my children, we decided to cut back on everything. We felt peaceful because we felt sure that God loved us immensely. I asked God to give me the strength I needed to forgive those who were forcing me to change the usual tenor of our life. In making the effort to have “complete amnesty in my heart,” I found true freedom and the strength to begin again. With the money I had left from the sale of our home and a few savings, I bought a school bus. As a bus driver, my day began at 4:45 in order to bring all the children to school on time. It was difficult for me to drive through areas where I knew I could meet my old colleagues or my supervisors. The news spread quickly that “the Attorney General, called the steel woman, is now a bus driver.” Some of the laughter and comments even reached my ears. After about one year, a professional I knew from the UN office asked me to collaborate with him on a project against drugs. This allowed me to get back into my specialization even though in a minor role, thus collaborating with all professionals in Latin America and the Caribbean. The International organization appreciated my professional conduct and matter-of-fact manner and they hired me with a decent monthly salary. I am now giving work also to some of my colleagues from the regional Attorney’s Office. At the beginning, knowing the dishonest methods of some of them and how they thought about me, I was rather afraid to face them. I asked Mary to give me the necessary humility to forget about the past and not judge. It was not easy but I can now tangibly feel the love of God for me and my family. (D. L. – Colombia)

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