“I’ve known the Focolare movement since childhood, but in the last two years I’ve had the occasion to rediscover my relationship with God through the experience of my parents’ separation. They were tough years in which I saw all my certainties crumble, and on various occasions I questioned my faith in God and His love for me.
Being the eldest girl, I found that the gravity of the situation weighed mostly on me. My parents spoke with me for hours over the telephone narrating their anger for each other. I felt really alone in that period, without any points of reference. I felt God distant from me: I only experienced His silence.
One day, when by then I had thought that the situation could not have worsened further, my mother called saying what her advocate has suggested: to get me and my sister to testify in court against my father, because she felt that it was the only way to quickly conclude the separation case.
My world fell apart! I felt torn within: in fact, my father had treated us badly and then unfortunately I had never been able to establish a strong relationship with him. Besides a few days earlier, he had done something really mean: it was my birthday and he called me not to wish me (he had forgotten about it) but to give vent to his feelings and complain as usual about my mother.
However, in that moment of great desperation, after months of ‘silence” I felt once again God’s voice clear and strong within me. It told me not be overwhelmed by anger and to think only of loving, always and in spite of everything, without expecting anything in return.
I took courage and told my mother that I wouldn’t testify against my father. She reacted badly by getting angry and accusing me of not wanting to help her. We didn’t speak again for many days, during which I suffered a lot, notwithstanding the conviction that my “no” to her was a “yes” to God.
Unexpectedly, from that moment onwards, things began to get better. Little by little all the various issues got resolved and above all my parents realised that they shouldn’t involve us children in their problems. When the crisis was over, my mother understood and accepted my decision, and our relationship was further strengthened. Things improved even with my father because he learned about my decision and was “struck by my courage”.
Now I experience within me a completely new strength, serenity, and faith, stemming from the certainty that I’m not alone, even in moments when I don’t feel His voice, He is always besides me. And if it’s true that God asks one to leave everything to follow Him, what he finally gives in return is much more valuable than anything that’s given up. It is truly the promised hundredfold!”.
(T. – Italy)