Focolare Movement

Lesley Ellison: My calling

Jan 21, 2014

The first Anglican focolarina tells of her encounter with the ideal of unity in the 1960’s, when ecumenism was still in its early stages.

I grew up near to Liverpool in the North West of England. As a child I remember there used to be processions either of Catholics or of Protestants and I used to go with other children to throw stones at the Catholics! When I was 18 I started working for ecumenism which was beginning to develop among various churches in England at that time. It wasn’t easy. Many adults in the area put obstacles in the way of unity because they were afraid of opening up towards Catholics. One day I felt particularly discouraged and I challenged God:  “Let me find others who are enthusiastic about unity!” The next day I went to church to a Service for young people. The preacher told us a story: “It was wartime, and everything was collapsing…”  It was the story of Chiara Lubich and the beginnings of the focolare. While he was speaking my heart was burning within me!  I interrupted his talk: “Where are those girls now? Did they die in the air raids?”   “No,” he replied, “don’t you know? They’re here in Liverpool!” I went to see them straight away.  Rather than finding three foreign girls in the focolare I would say I found the Gospel being lived. I felt as if I was being born anew and starting my life all over again. I wanted to live the Gospel, too. I wanted to give God the first place in my life. But there were many prejudices to overcome.

London, 11 November 1996: Chiara Lubich and a group of Anglican focolarini with Archbishop George Carey and Bishop Robin Smith.

I began to experience that it’s love that overcomes barriers. It was only 1965 but already, people from various churches who wanted to live the spirituality of unity were coming together as one family. Now it’s normal for us to find members of other churches in all the vocations of the movement. But then, the idea of a Protestant in a Catholic community was unheard of, and it didn’t seem possible for me to live in a focolare as I had dreamt. My world seemed to be falling apart. I had chosen God and he was refusing me. I had chosen the focolare and its door was closed to me. My life became absurd, grey, meaningless. But in that moment of darkness, I heard a small, insistent voice which said:  “You have not chosen me, I have chosen you but I want you whole and complete, just as I give myself to you, whole and complete. Don’t give your heart to the focolare or to your vocation. Give it to me. I am your only Good.” In a flash I glimpsed the attraction of the true life of every person who wants to bring about unity. It’s a life of total adhesion to Jesus. I realised through my tears that this was what I wanted to choose more than anything else: Jesus, especially in the moment of his forsakenness. The shadow that had been in front of me seemed to dissolve into a very strong light; and I said: “Yes, I will go back home but I will go with you.” Shortly after this I heard that one of Chiara’s first companions was in London, and she asked me to go and live with her in the focolare!  And that’s how it was. The following years would be another chapter, as would the birth of the Anglican focolare where I have lived for many years with other Anglican focolarine. But the foundation of my life is still that daily choice of God as my only Good.

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