It seems obvious that we are made to relate to other people: in fact, we could even say that our lives are intertwined by the relationships we make. However, we sometimes we risk spoiling the latter with our harsh or superficial judgements.

Throughout history, various images have become part of everyday language. Thus, in
ancient tradition we find a well-known expression that says: ‘Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye and not notice the plank in your own?’[1] Equally proverbial is the image of the two saddlebags: one in front of our eyes, filled with the faults of other people which we easily see, and the other on our backs, holding our own faults which we then struggle to recognise.[2] There is also a Chinese proverb that says, ‘Man is blind to his own faults but has eagle eyes for those of others.’

This does not mean that we should indiscriminately accept what other people do and just let events run their course. Faced with injustice, violence or oppression, we cannot close our eyes. We must commit ourselves to change and start by looking at ourselves and listening sincerely to our own consciences to discover what we need to improve. Only then can we ask ourselves how we can concretely help others by sometimes offering advice and correction.

Each one of us needs ‘another point of view’ that offers a perspective different from our
own, enriching our ‘truth’ and helping us to avoid self-referentiality and those errors of judgement that are part of our human nature.

The word “mercy” may seem old fashioned but it is rich with meaning relevant to today: we can be merciful first towards ourselves and then towards others too. In fact, only if we are able to accept and forgive our own limitations will we be able to welcome the weaknesses and mistakes of others. Indeed, when we realise that unconsciously we may be feeling superior and in a position to judge other people, it is vital that we are willing to take ‘the first step’ towards the other person to avoid damaging the relationship.

Chiara Lubich told a group of Muslims about her experience when she and her companions lived in a small house in Trent as they began their adventures at the start of the Movement. Not everything was simple and there were misunderstandings. “It was not always easy to love in aradical way […] “Dust” could settle on our relationships and unity could diminish. This happened, for example, when we became aware of the faults and imperfections of others and judged them, so our mutual love grew cold. One day, we decided we should try to counter this situation and we decided
to make a pact among ourselves and called it a ‘pact of mercy’. We decided that every morning we would see the people we met – at home, at school, at work, etc. – as new without calling to mind their faults but covering everything with love.” [3] his is a ‘method’ worth putting into practice in groups at work, in the family and in
communities of all kinds.

© Foto di Cottonbro studio – Pexels

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THE IDEA OF THE MONTH is currently produced by the Focolare Movement’s “Centre for Dialogue with People of Non-religious Beliefs”. It is an initiative that began in 2014 in Uruguay to share with non-believing friends the values of the Word of Life, i.e. the phrase from Scripture that members of the Movement strive to put into practice in their daily lives. Currently, THE IDEA OF THE MONTH is translated into 12 languages and distributed in more than 25 countries, with adaptations of the text according to different cultural sensitivities. dialogue4unity.focolare.org

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[1] (Lc 6,41)

[2] Esopo (μῦθοι) , Fedro (Fabulae)

[3] C. Lubich, L’amore al prossimo, Conversazione con gli amici musulmani, Castel Gandolfo, 1° novembre 2002. Cf. C. Lubich, L’Amore reciproco, Città Nuova, Roma 2013, pp. 89-90.