Often life presents us with situations which lead us to slowly and unintentionally close in on ourselves: this may be the result of an disagreement or because of our views or ego or even due toour fears.

But sometimes it is enough to stop and just ask ourselves a simple question, made up of simple words, and, unexpectedly, we become aware that change is possible. The questionis: “Who are you to me?” or, in other words, “Who am I to you?” Questions that, as Margaret Karram says, pave the way to taking concrete action: “take the first step, listen, spare no time, let yourself be ‘wounded’ by others.”^[1] It is obvious: if we think about others, we do not think of ourselves, nor of our weaknesses, failures or emotional scars that others have inflicted. Thinking about the other person helps us put ourselves in their shoes, in an attitude of reciprocity: “how would I feel if the other person told me what I am telling him or her?” or “what can I do for him or her?”

lf our actions stem from a desire to put the well-being of those around us first, everything can acquire a greater dimension, to the point where we can tell the other person that we love them gratuitously and without expecting anything in return.

However, sometimes we are overwhelmed by discouragement, frustration, and tiredness. The American doctor, Ira Robert Byock, says that the times of greatest despair arise when we feel imprisoned in “a well of fear, anger and distrust”. ^[2] In those moments, let us surrender to the power of love that can do anything, can free us from all that holds us back and encourages us to begin again without fear. The music group “Gen Rosso” expresses this idea in one of its songs by saying, “Starting anew is like saying yes to life again, and then breaking free and flying to boundless horizons, where thoughtsare free from fear. Your home becomes as big as the world. To begin again is to believe in love and to feel that even in times of pain, the soul can sing and never stop.”

Such an attitude can bring about personal change, but can also make an impact upon the community when we share our difficulties with other people in sincere and constructive dialogue. An atmosphere of true friendship rebuilds relationships in the community enabling anger to be replaced by reflection, fear by the discovery of new pathways and distrust by hope. We will then become a sign of a different way of creating society.

Sometimes simple words really are enough:

“You matter to me…because you are you!”

Photo: © Pixabay

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[1] M. Karram: “Prossimità” – 2024

[2] in: The Economist – The 2015 Quality of Death Index. Ranking palliative care acrosstheworld

THE IDEA OF THE MONTH is currently produced by the Focolare Movement’s “Centre for Dialogue with People of Non religious Beliefs”. It is an initiative that began in 2014 in Uruguay to share with non-believing friends the values of the Word of Life, i.e. the phrase from Scripture that members of the Movement strive to put into practice in their daily lives. Currently, THE IDEA OF THE MONTH is translated into 12 languages and distributed in more than 25 countries, with adaptations of the text according to different cultural sensitivities. dialogue4unity.focolare.org