Focolare Movement

The courage to forgive

Oct 8, 2016

The phrase for October invites us to forgive, a difficult choice but if put into practice, brings down the walls of misunderstanding and even more

Reconciliation by Josefina de Vasconcellos at Coventry Cathedral

Photo: Reconciliation by Josefina de Vasconcellos at Coventry Cathedral

This month’s ‘word of life’ invites us not to respond to offence with offence, but – as Chiara Lubich suggests – «with clarity of mind and an act of the will, to accept our brothers as they are despite the wrong done to us, the way God accepts us, sinners, regardless of our defects.» Here are some testimonials: The wall that came down “I had a very sad childhood and youth, to such a point that I cannot remember even one positive aspect. Even when I married, the relationship with my own family always left a profound bitterness in me, with only criticisms and disdain. It was not easy to forget, but in the meantime I tried to live the evangelic motto: give without seeking any reward. One day my parents came to pass their holidays with us. I decided to satisfy their demands, without expecting anything. I kissed my mother, a thing that I had no longer done since my childhood. She hugged me and her eyes filled with tears. I felt that the wall dividing us had crumbled. And on his birthday, my father asked me to put on his favourite music and dance with him. This harmony among us was a great conquest!” (Margherita – Switzerland) A quarrel that ended in gentleness “I had learned from my sister that our parents had quarreled. They had not spoken to each other for three days and Dad refused to eat the food Mom cooked. When I got home I immediately felt the heavy atmosphere. Without asking anything I set about serving all concretely, and doing some chores. At the first occasion in which I found myself alone with my father, I tried to ask him what happened. He thus confided in me and so I was also able to tell him that I tried to live the words of Jesus. When I mentioned forgiveness, of which He was an example, he listened attentively. In the end we agreed that when Mom returned he would welcome her. From the kitchen window, I saw her return and my father asking her gently how things had been at work.” (P. F. – Cameroon) A simple “hello” “For some time now, there have been some misunderstandings between me and one of my sisters, to the point that we no longer spoke to each other. One day I decided to take the first step to reconcile with her. But it was not at all easy: in reality I was the elder brother, and I had my own dignity… After a restless night, the next morning in the kitchen I said “hi,” but so softly that she didn’t hear it. I took courage and repeated “hello,” in a stronger voice. She was so surprised and we immediately made peace. Out of joy and the sense of liberation, I started to sing.” (Dolfi – Italy)

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