Does it still make sense to talk about unity in the family, when we understand less and less what the value of the family is? Often in today’s society the word unity is misunderstood and abused, but during these days I have understood its deeper meaning.” says a couple, underlining the importance of welcoming the cultural differences of the partner in order to discover all of the wealth there is in them. Unity is certainly not a magic word, neither can it be improvised, but it must be sought day by day through signs of concrete love, that sometimes cost effort, but then you experience deep joy.
This is what the families who met from April 21 to April 24 at the Mariapolis Center of Castelgandolfo for the 2016 New Families Congress. A great number of families from different European countries, but also from Egypt, the Philippines and Brazil. Some Orthodox, Coptic-Orthodox, protestants and one Buddist. Through photos and updating they got to know and share the life of the families in Lebanon, Australia, Cuba and Santo Domingo, which made them come closer and feel that they are committed to a common ideal.
I had put aside loving my closest neighbor, my wife, but here I feel that a new communion between us has begun” says a couple from Egypt.
Archie and Joji, a couple from Manila, married for 12 years and with 3 children, tell with what spirit they arrived: “Coming to Europe is expensive, but this experience was important for us. Two weeks before leaving we risked losing our house in a fire, but with our children we experienced the power of prayer. Now we see things from another prospective.”
Pains, joys, moments shared with the other families, some very young and from very different cultural backgrounds, showed us that unity is a gift, but also a commitment to creating more than ever necessary networks of families that believe in the family and commit themselves to the challenges that they meet.
An analysis of Pope Francis’ recent document “Amoris Laetitia” showed that forgiveness is an efficient resource for living unity in the family, but for it to be authentic, we must recognize our own limits, putting ourselves in the others’ shoes. Pope Francis encourages families to grow in mercy, to the point of making it a proposal of life for this year. It’s not easy, but possible, as Adriana tells, “There were moments of discouragement, but I felt that it was necessary to go beyond the darkness that was paralyzing me and to recognize in it an expression of the pain of the forsakenness that Jesus had lived on the cross. – said Adriana Scariolo – It was hard for me to be loving with Francesco, but every time he came home I tried to take the step of welcoming him with a peaceful and available heart, giving him a hug and a kiss, and making him feel my closeness. Due to this behavior every perplexity towards him slowly disappeared and brought us to a greater love…”
The initiatives in order to support families in difficulty ( again this year the “Percorsi di Luce” Courses of Light will be held at Loppiano from June 18th to 25th), showed clearly that we mustn’t be frightened in the face of a crisis because it is a sign of a necessary evolution in each of us and between us even if it brings instability and pain.
All of us live moments of crisis – Rino and Rita Ventriglia maintain – that can be the announcement of signs of alarm, which is interesting to recognize. They are passages from one phase to another than can serve to explain needs, frustrations which must not be repressed.” If handled well, conflicts, difficulties, have a creative dimension.
The road travelled together in these years even with people who are living separation has taught us not to judge and to enter in depth in the diverse situations, to appreciate their witness and their contribution. The stories of families and children taken in adoption, projects of AFNonlus for support at a distance and reception of child migrants, have widened our horizons and hearts strengthening the commitment to live universal brotherhood.
Among the various subjects discussed, a reflection on education regarding emotions for younger and older children, which for Domenico Bellantoni “is neither divided, or dividable from the total education of the individual, a formation of a person-relation which is strived for through the project Up2me for adolescents.
“The future of humanity passes through the family”, John Paul II said years ago, underlining, however, the need “that families today must become stronger.” The experience lived together in these days, one of the families said, has been this: a “becoming stronger” being able to question themselves with new vigor and courage about the existential peripheries where they must take and be as a family an answer of concrete love.
