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We can experience a new peace and a surprising joy when we forgive properly, realistically, sincerely. It is our ‘vendetta of love’.

In a violent society such as the one we live in, forgiveness is a difficult issue to face. How can you forgive someone who has destroyed your family,  committed  unspeakable  acts  of criminality  or, more simply, has deeply hurt you in personal matters, ruining your career or betraying your trust?

The first instinctive reaction is to get your own back, rendering evil for evil, unleashing a spiral of hatred and aggression, and increasing barbarism in society. Or else it causes a breakdown in relations, nursing grudges and spite, an attitude that embitters life and poisons relationships.

The Word of God erupts with force in the most varied situations of conflict and proposes, uncompromisingly, the most difficult and bravest solution: forgiveness.

The invitation this time comes from a wise man from the ancient people of Israel, Ben Sirach, who shows how absurd it is to ask forgiveness of God if, in turn, you do not know how to forgive. And in an ancient text from Jewish tradition we read: ‘To whom does God pardon iniquity? To whoever pardons the wrongs done by others.’1 It is what Jesus himself taught in our prayer to the Father: ‘Father … forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.’2

We too make mistakes, and every time we wish to be forgiven! We beg humbly and hope that we will be given again the chance for a new start, that we will be trusted once more. If it is like that for us, will it not be so also for others? Must we not love our neighbour as ourselves?

Chiara Lubich, who continues to inspire our understanding of the Word, commented on the invitation to forgive in this way: ‘It is not the kind of forgetfulness that means not looking reality in the face. Forgiveness is not weakness, which is to say it is not failing out of fear of the strong to take account of the wrong they have done. Forgiveness is not about saying that something serious does not matter, or calling good what is evil. Forgiveness is not indifference. Forgiveness is an act of will and of clear thinking, and so of freedom. It is about accepting our brother or sister as they are, despite the wrong that has been committed, as God accepts us sinners, despite our defects. Forgiveness is about not responding to an affront with an affront, but it does as Paul says: “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:21).

‘Forgiveness is about opening up for whoever does you wrong the possibility of a new relationship with you. So it gives the possibility for the two of you to begin life again, to have a future where evil does not have the last word.’

The Word of Life will help us resist the temptation of replying in kind, of immediately getting our own back. It will help us to see whoever is our ‘enemy’ with new eyes, recognizing them as a brother or sister. However bad they may be, they need someone to love them, to help them to change. It will be our ‘vendetta of love’.

Chiara went on to explain: ‘You will say, “But it’s impossible.” That’s understandable. But here is the beauty of Christianity. It is not for nothing that you follow a God who, dying upon the cross, asked his Father to forgive those who killed him. Take courage. New life starts here. I can assure you, you will have a peace never tasted till now and a huge but surprising new joy.’3

 

Fr Fabio Ciardi, OMI

1 See Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 28a

2 See Mt 6:12

3 Costruire sulla roccia, Rome: Città Nuova, 1983, pp. 46-58


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5 Comments

  • Un dirigente di un ufficio dove ho lavorato mi ha creato molteplici problemi che si sono rilevati molto negativi per la mia vita Si può capire i tanti pensieri più che negativi che ho sempre avuto nei suoi confronti. Da allora non l’ho quasi mai incrociato. Oggi era affianco a me nella fila per pagare ma non mi aveva visto. Ho sentito la spinta a fare quel piccolo passo che ha la fatica di una scalata. gli ho stretto la mano. Il sasso che avevo nella scarpa da 16 anni si è levato

  • This is my experience…”My father was killed, and justice was not served because we were poor and the murderers were from an influential group. That was when hatred came into my life…As this hatred grew, I enrolled in the college of law because I wanted justice. Then i met the focolare and Chiara taught me how to live the words of Jesus. “Love your enemy” “Forgive not seven times but seventy-seven times…” One day when I was at work, I had met by chance the leader of the group that had killed my father. I spontaneously greeted him with a smile and asked him how his family was doing. And I felt in my heart that the hatred slowly transformed into love.I continued to visit them in their home and tried building this rapport by showing how much God loves them. And it came to a point where a member of those who had killed my father asked for forgiveness for what he had done and in turn he asked for prayers for his family and his health.

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