Next door

Living next door to one another and being strangers. This is what often  happens. All it takes is courage and  simple actions to begin to really get to know one another.  This is what the Scariolo family did.

“Meeting other people  is  mutually enriching –  beyond cultures, religions and ideologies. When we do this, we discover that the other person was created as a gift of love for us and we for them.”

These are the words used by Adriana and Francesco Scariolo, Swiss focolarini, who have been married for 42 years, to describe a particularly enriching experience they had a few months ago.

“We live in Canton Ticino, in the Italian part of Switzerland, and for a year and a half we have been living in a building that consists of thirteen flats. In the days leading up to Christmas 2021, we thought we could  go door-to-door to share Christmas greetings. The surprise and gratitude of all the neighbours was great: ‘I was the first tenant to come to live in this building and this has never happened before – it’s the first time someone has come to wish us well at Christmas,’ said one of them. ‘We are Muslims, but we want to wish you a Merry Christmas too,’ added another. We also distributed an invitation to everyone to celebrate the end of the year in our home and to wish them a Happy 2022. So on 29 December we held an aperitif-dinner with three families, one Muslim and two Christian, one Evangelical and one Catholic, respecting safety regulations and wearing masks. It was a nice occasion when everyone got to know one other quite spontaneously. ‘It’s good to know that there are neighbours to help out, to say hello to,’ said the husband of the Muslim woman. ‘It makes us feel less alone.’”

Is this something you have done before?
“Yes, it’s not the first time we’ve tried to create relationships with other people in  apartment blocks. It all started many years ago when we heard about the ‘neighbours’ party’, an initiative proposed to give people a chance to meet each other. We realised that we also needed a bit of courage and imagination to do our part, so we tried. The first thing we did was to take advantage of the new year and put a greeting card in the letter boxes, then, depending on people’s reaction and by  making more friends, we organised a lunch in the garden all together before the summer. Then we left that block of flats for a 7-year volunteer programme working abroad.  When we came back, since we are in this new building, we wanted to keep up the tradition.”

What surprised you about their reactions?
“Seeing their smiling faces. They didn’t expect it, especially in such a sensitive period because of the pandemic. It also seemed like a gift to be able to end the last days of 2021 with a moment of socialising after so much isolation, a sign that gives hope and does not dampen the desire to love others and build fraternal relationships. On 2 January 2022, we were waiting for other families who had said they would like to come to us. Due to the social distancing, it was not possible to host them at the same time as the others. Some were affected by covid and therefore could not come, but the dinner with them is only postponed until better times.”

What does it mean for you to meet your brother or sister?
“It means reaching out to today’s humanity through simple, everyday gestures of love. For example, helping the neighbour who sometimes has problems with the TV, listening to the couple who have just had a baby, breaking down the walls of indifference  and anonymity that the pandemic has increased because they are obstacles to relationships.

Jesus’ phrase “Whatever you do to one of my least brothers, you do to me” challenges us. So every neighbour is really the person God puts next to us to be welcomed and loved. And who is closer than our neighbours?”

Maria Grazia Berretta