Up2Me is a training and education program on affectivity and sexuality offered by the Focolare Movement. It started in 2015 as a response to the educational challenges facing the young generations of the third millennium. Today it is active in 35 countries around the world, with tailored paths for every age group: children with their families, pre-adolescent and adolescent children (with a parallel path for their parents) and young adults.
We spoke to Paolo and Teresa Radere, long-time educators, especially with Focolare’s younger generations, about the path suitable for children aged 4-8 years.
Team Up2Me Children
Paolo, Teresa, what is Up2Me for Children?
It is an experience that children can have with their parents, an itinerary for integral formation starting from the development of the emotional, affective, and sexual dimensions. It also engages the spiritual realm and existential intelligence, to foster from childhood a deep and open perspective on the world and others. The pathway promotes positive relationships, creativity in dialogue, acceptance, respect for each person’s uniqueness and a foundation for personal and communal growth and openness to others.
Who is it for?
It is open to all families with children aged 4-8 years. If, as happens in many families, there are older or younger children, participation in Up2Me is not a problem but an opportunity, because it is the whole family that has an experience. The course is also open to children in foster care, those with separated or single parents—in such cases, the child is accompanied by a trusted adult (one of the two natural or foster parents or both, an uncle, a grandparent ….).
The project can be run in family groups, parishes, or schools.
What are the objectives?
For children, the aim is to have shared experiences with their parents and other reference adults, which is necessary for the development of their identity and for an integral and harmonious growth. They learn to recognize, welcome and express in a context-appropriate way primary emotions with a positive value; experience good and effective communication with parents; develop interiority, self-knowledge, grow in the spiritual dimension – understood as the ability to contemplate and transcend, learn to take care of one’s body, others, nature.
For parents, on the other hand, the course is useful in fostering growth in the ability to dialogue between generations within the family, between families and with contemporary culture to enhance their latent potential; to deepen knowledge about the child’s socio-cognitive and psychological development and the type of relationships that favour it; to understand how parents’ behaviour and relationship with their children affect their growth and learn good educational practices for emotional regulation; and to learn about the influence of new technologies in the upbringing of children and the role of parents in it.
What does the programme include?
From the experience and study of these years and to shape the path undertaken, we have chosen the metaphor of ‘a journey together towards happiness’. We have chosen to work on the emotional-relational education of children because this forms the basis of their affective and sexual relationship; emotions then allow the body and mind to be articulated, which favours integral personal growth. The experiential training method allows parents and children to share their daily experiences in community meetings, to dialogue, to deepen and enlighten, thus building a new knowledge that comes from their own wisdom and that of others.
The content is presented through a plurality of languages: play, movement, sensory, iconic representation, narration, images and dance as characteristics of the approach to the different themes.
The metaphor of a plane trip gives the child the image of the continuity of the journey, the sense of expectation and discovery, the need for work in preparation for the trip. After each stage the experience continues at home because each family unit is given a proposal that helps to continue the dialogue and the climate built with the aim of seeking spaces for growth as a family.
We are Aureliana and Julián from Paraguay, married for 36 years, with five children and six grandchildren.
JULIAN: Aureliana was 18 and I was 19 when we married. We were deeply in love and excited to build our life together. The first five years were wonderful, we were great partners, we worked together, helped each other and complemented one another. But after seven years of marriage, we entered a deep crisis that almost led to separation. Communication became difficult: we couldn’t talk about ourselves or our relationship and this gradually distanced us. Still, we both wanted to do our best for our daughters and to progress economically. Each of us lived in our own way, we argued a lot, but managed to keep going.
AURELIANA: When our daughters reached adolescence, one of them was very rebellious and, at 17, she became pregnant and went to live with her partner. That was when we started seeking support to strengthen ourselves as parents, also in a spiritual way. We began attending family group meetings and spiritual retreats. That helped us overcome tough challenges, with each of us putting in a lot of goodwill.
JULIAN: We had achieved economic stability, we had a good family, good health and a well-established family business – we had everything! One day, I started interacting with someone through social media, we got to know each other, and I began an extramarital relationship. At the same time, my sick father was living with us and our daughter was finding it very hard to adapt to motherhood. Aureliana had to stretch herself thin to support her, keep working and manage the home. I was deeply involved in that affair and did nothing to help Aureliana. In fact, I claimed I had no time, she would complain and I would get angry. At that time, we travelled to Europe and during the trip, Aureliana found out about my infidelity. Everything collapsed. We were far from everyone, alone within the four walls of a hotel room.
AURELIANA: My world fell apart! I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t believe something like this had happened. At first, I stayed silent, hoping we could finish the trip, but then I exploded: I broke the silence by screaming, crying and demanding an answer. He, for his part, began to desperately beg for mercy, asking forgiveness from God and from me and despite the terrible pain I was in, it touched my heart. I knew I had to take a step and I placed all my trust in God’s help to do so. I finally managed to see the face of the crucified Jesus in Julián. I opened my arms to him and we calmed down a little. However, despite this interior step, I was still often overwhelmed by pain and sadness.
“That is what we want to proclaim to the world: we are here in order to be ‘one’ as the Lord wants us to be ‘one,’ in our families and in those places where we live, work and study. Different, yet one; many, yet one; always, in every situation and at every stage of life. (…) Let us not forget: families are the cradle of the future of humanity.”
JULIAN: At night, Aureliana couldn’t sleep, she cried. She was diagnosed with depression. I felt helpless and guilty. I prayed a lot. I felt that my wife and family were incredibly precious to me, but the damage was done. I had to accept my mistake, but I also wanted to give my all and trust in God.
AURELIANA: Our family was divided, the children didn’t know whom to blame and they rebelled. Then Julián became ill: he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. That shook me deeply and almost snapped me out of my depression. After receiving the CT scan results, we gathered with our children and looked for the best surgical option. We felt that the unity of our family was the most precious good, more than any disagreement. I came to realize that I was once again capable of giving my life for my husband and fully living out my fidelity to him, “in sickness and in health.”
JULIAN: I felt loved and managed to undergo two brain surgeries with record recovery times. Immediately after being discharged, we had the opportunity to attend a retreat for couples in crisis, as we still needed to heal our wounds.
AURELIANA: That retreat helped me clarify many doubts. We received great affection from the participants and benefited from the presence of professionals and couples with many years of experience. We discovered a new path forward.
JULIAN: I realized that the will to forgive is one thing, but healing the trauma is a process. The wound I had caused was very deep and she needed time, patience, and love from me. I received the greatest gift from God—her forgiveness. We renewed our marriage vows, Aureliana said her “YES” to me again forever, and we started over.
AURELIANA: Our life has completely changed. After 35 years of marriage, we stopped fighting. We now live a full life as a couple and can look each other in the eyes and love each other like never before.
“Please, first of all, sow the seeds of the Gospel which is the Good News, so as to be credible in a time torn apart by discord and conflict, where peace now seems an unattainable dream.” A strong invitation that Pope Francis addressed to some family focolares in a long letter. On the 27th of October 2024 at the Mariapolis Centre in Castel Gandolfo (Italy), Margaret Karram, President of the Focolare Movement, while meeting with the young focolare families, read to them the message received from the Pope. It was a beautiful surprise which was written specifically for them. The family focolares are characterised by both spouses being married focolarini. In the world today there are 130 young focolare families in addition to the many families who are living the spirituality of unity that is a typical feature of the Focolare Movement.
The meeting in October at Castel Gandolfo was the last part of a formation course in six stages carried out in different regions of the world: Poland, the Philippines, Lebanon, Guatemala, Portugal. The last one was attended by 55 families coming from different countries.
In his long letter, the Pope explains that he has been informed of “the important work within the Movement in favour of families who have embarked on a unique path of formation”. And he thanks the President “for letting me be part of this exciting experience of faith that is being lived by many couples of various nationalities and religious expressions. I am particularly pleased to know that you are joyfully carrying out your apostolate in various human and social contexts, and with great passion you are striving to create harmony and understanding”.
Pope Francis then asked Margaret Karram to bring his spiritual closeness to the families, encouraging each one to become an instrument of love, demonstrating the richness of sincere and loving fraternity. He thus turned his thoughts to families in crisis “who have lost the courage to cherish the beauty of the Sacrament they have received”, and to help young people” not to be afraid of marriage and its vulnerability”.
Also significant is the date on which the Pope wanted to write the letter: 26 July 2024, the commemoration of Saints Joachim and Anna, the parents of the Virgin Mary. A gesture that didn’t happen by chance for those to whom the letter is addressed: the families.
“Dear families, as you return to your homes,” the Pope continues, “revive the domestic hearth with constant prayer, lend your ear to the voice of the Holy Spirit who guides, enlightens and sustains the journey of life, open to those who knock at your door so as to be heard and comforted, always offer the wine of joy and share the good bread of communion. May the Holy Family of Nazareth be a source of inspiration and hope in times of trial, so that you may be builders of unity everywhere in the service of the Church and humanity.”
Margaret Karram, as she finished reading the letter, said: “I have read it many times and truly, like you, I was moved. I said: this shows an immense love of the Pope for you, especially for you.”
A precious gift extended to all the families in the world, as a guiding star for each one’s journey.
