“Sent out,” even from a hospital bed

When my illness became worse, I had to be confined to the hospital again. I was quite weak and everything I did demanded almost unbearable effort. The continual check-ups and treatments were attempts at a cure, so I had to make a leap in the dark again and again, and put myself in God’s hands as I followed the doctors’ instructions each time they had a new idea for me.

One weekend, I found myself alone in the ward: I could finally rest and take a breather! I knew that the next Tuesday, the room would be full again. So I prepared myself, promising Jesus to see and love Him alone in the new patients, whoever they might be. I wanted to immerse myself in the Word of God, since to be able to proclaim the Gospel I first had to be evangelized myself.

And God did take me at my word! The ward filled up. At the beginning I panicked; it was worse than I expected. There was never a single moment of silence and I went through sleepless nights. Had I not known the value of the present moment, I would never have made it!

I felt like someone “sent out”: even from my hospital bed, I could let God’s love reach the doctors and patients around me.

Slowly, I learned to discover their positive side, the values they possessed, beyond their intimidating appearance which used to be so hard for me to take. Out of the blue, one of them remarked how important it was for her to have good relationships with her roommates, and then she said to me, “But we do get along very well, don’t we?” She had no inkling therefore that I was having a hard time, and she felt at ease with me.

I realized how important it is not to stop at one’s personal limitations, but take courage and love, trusting that God will take care of the rest. I experienced how much one grows and gets stronger spiritually. My three – week experience had its fruits. My physiotherapist was amazed at seeing me so cheerful. The doctors appreciated me because they felt free to prescribe the treatments they deemed useful for me. An ex-roommate came to bring me a gift and told me she had gone to church to pray that I might not have to undergo chemotherapy, as was forewarned. Now I’m back home, experiencing a new peace and serenity.

(M. – Germany)
Translated from “Quando Dio interviene. Esperienze da tutto il mondo” – Città Nuova 2004