“Lately I feel Hugo is far away,” Lorena says with obvious sadness. “Whenever we’re together or talk on the phone, he struggles to open up. He tells me a little about his day, but he never lets me into his inner world.”

Few things are more valuable in a relationship than intimacy. There is a profound difference between simply exchanging information about daily life and engaging in genuine emotional communication. Transactional Analysis defines intimacy as an honest, open relationship in which two people meet one another without masks or social roles, freely expressing their authentic thoughts, feelings and emotions.

This is exactly what Lorena longs for. She doesn’t need more details about Hugo’s schedule; she wants to know what is happening in his heart. She wants to share in his joys, his struggles and his emotions, and to feel that they are truly listening to one another.

Hugo, however, explains that he feels emotionally exhausted. Work has drained him, leaving him with little energy to invest in their relationship. During our counselling session, we begin exploring the deeper dynamics behind this painful cycle, one that is slowly building an invisible wall between them.

Lorena explains that whenever Hugo withdraws emotionally, alarm bells immediately go off inside her. His silence feels like a threat to the relationship itself. Driven by anxiety, she presses him to talk more openly. But the more she asks, the more he retreats into describing everyday events that never satisfy her longing for genuine intimacy.

As the conversation deepens, Lorena finally gives voice to what lies beneath her frustration: her fear that something may be wrong between them and her deep need to feel reassured about their relationship and their future together.

The moment she expresses this fear, something changes. She immediately feels lighter, relieved, almost liberated. Instead of hiding her vulnerability, she has chosen to reveal it.

Hugo’s response is unexpected. With tears glistening in his eyes, he quietly says, “I’m more in love with you than ever.”
Why? Because Lorena’s fear of losing him communicated something far more powerful than any accusation ever could: “Our relationship matters deeply to me.”

For Hugo, those words became an unmistakable expression of love. He felt valued, cherished and deeply loved, and that awakened within him an even greater capacity to love in return. Then it is Hugo’s turn to open his heart. He describes what happens when stress overwhelms him. Instead of speaking about his pain, he withdraws into silence. As he reflects on his experience, he discovers an inner conflict. Part of him longs to confide in Lorena; another part feels completely blocked and painfully alone.
He asks himself, “Why can’t I open up to the woman I love, even though I want to?”
Gradually, the answer emerges. He realises that he is afraid of disappointing her. If he reveals his struggles, his tiredness and his emotional fragility, he fears she will see him as less capable, less strong and somehow less worthy of her love.
But when he finally shares this fear, Lorena’s response surprises him completely. “Seeing your vulnerability makes me want to hold you close. It allows me to see the little boy within you.”
This is the extraordinary power of emotional intimacy. Every time we dare to offer our vulnerability as a gift, we create new possibilities for closeness, trust and joy.
Love grows when we trust another person enough to place our fragility in their hands, confident that it will not be judged or rejected, but received as something precious to be treasured and protected.

Source: Città Nuova – Lucia Coco – 23 July 2026
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