When our children came along, we found ourselves facing an important question: what kind of upbringing did we want to give them?
One of us is a believer, the other is not. How could we pass on our values without hiding our differences and, above all, without sending our children conflicting messages?

We talked about it at length, trying to find a way forward together. We decided to give our children a Christian upbringing because we wanted them to discover the richness of faith.
They attended religious education classes and received the sacraments. But as they grew older, we wanted to give them the freedom to choose their own path.

It wasn’t always easy. Children observe everything, ask questions and quickly notice differences. “If Dad doesn’t go to Mass, why should I?” they would ask.

These questions became valuable opportunities for dialogue. We tried to explain that our choices were not simply a matter of indifference or convenience,
but reflected personal convictions that had developed over time. We wanted our children to understand that people can hold different beliefs and still love one another deeply.

We, too, had a great deal to learn. It helped us enormously to talk with other couples we had met through the Movement, where one spouse was a believer and the other was not.
Their experiences encouraged us to find our own way, without expecting to have all the answers.

One particular incident has stayed with us.
One day, while we were driving, we heard a radio discussion about civil marriage.
Our eldest son asked us what the difference was between a civil wedding and a church wedding.
After listening to our explanation, he asked an even more thought-provoking question: “Then why did you get married in church if Dad doesn’t believe?”

His mother was searching for the right words when his father spontaneously began to speak. He explained that, although he was not a believer, he had chosen to get married in church because he knew how important it was to his wife. It was his way of respecting and embracing something that was precious to the person he loved.

Our son listened carefully and seemed satisfied with the answer. It was a special moment for us, too. His mother felt she could not have put it any better herself.
Over the years, we have come to appreciate the value of this choice more and more. Our differences have not disappeared, but we have tried not to let them become barriers between us. Instead, they have become opportunities to listen to one another, get to know each other better and grow together.

We have tried to pass on to our children not only values expressed in words, but above all a way of living: respecting others, accepting them in their uniqueness and genuinely wanting them to be happy.
Today, as we watch how our children approach their own relationships, we can see something of what we have tried to build together.

We have discovered that another person’s happiness can become our own.
And that genuine love does not ask the other person to be like us, but gives them the freedom to be themselve
J. and M.A.

(Photo di StockSnap da Pixabay)