I was the only one supporting my family financially because my husband refused to find a job, he even expected me to give him a monthly check! I was constantly subjected to domestic, physical and psychological violence; my only peace was on a Sunday when I could go to church with my children and be with Jesus.

My husband stole money and family jewels that he used to gamble and of course he lost everything. When he heard that I had told my sisters, he was furious and threw me out of the house. Not only was I struggling financially, but I had also lost custody of my children because I was not aware of my rights at the time. My in-laws, and my husband’s brothers, helped me pay for our children’s schooling. I was terrified and found peace of mind only by sleeping with a knife under my pillow. I was also angry with God because He had taken everything I had and so I stopped going to church for many years.

After some time, I recovered financially and felt secure for the first time in my life, I could afford the lifestyle I thought had been taken away from me when I got married. I had important friendships but best of all I was able to reconnect with my children, at first through the internet and later in person.

I thought that God had abandoned me and having no spiritual guide, I embraced the world again. I also started a relationship with a kind-hearted man. I was happy and for twelve years this was my life.

Since my husband was also in a new relationship, I thought it was time to get rid of him completely so I asked for the annulment of the marriage. However, halfway through the process, I heard a faint whisper in my heart telling me that this wasn’t the right thing to do. I realized that an annulment in court would only release me civilly from marriage, but in the eyes of the Church I would always be married to my husband. So I abandoned the idea.

Sometime later, my husband fell ill and needed an open heart operation from which he survived. At that moment, he was alone, while I was happy with my new partner. Briefly I felt  the taste of revenge, but almost immediately I felt in my heart that I had to forgive and I realized that I too needed to be forgiven. Despite my complaints and accusations against him, I too had failed, especially with my children.

One day at church, I learned about a support group for single and separated parents. I attended several meetings and realized that, contrary to popular belief, the Church does not turn its back on those whose families or relationships are in crisis. I rediscovered a loving Church! I knew I was at a crossroads, and I had to make a choice. I chose God! I gave up the relationship I had, I quit my high-paying job and started exploring other options that would allow me to stay as far away as possible from the harsh, materialistic world I was living in at the time. The best part is that I started going to Sunday mass again and even going to confession.

This change allowed me, albeit with great difficulty, to look at my husband with new eyes, recognizing his frailties and his fickle temperament. After more than a decade, on the occasion of his father’s death, I overcame my reluctance and found the courage to meet him, to talk to him at length and to forgive him. We decided to remain friends and no longer have relationships with others. I finally got rid of the knife under my pillow!

I found myself increasingly involved in service as responsible for the ministry of worship in our parish church.. I am also in charge of organizing a group of Basic Christian Communities, one of which was rarely visited and where many poor families live. We discovered that poverty is one of the reasons that keeps them away from the church, because Sunday is also a day of work for them, I continued to work at building relationships in this community.

Truly, love begets love.

[1] From Families in Action: A Mosaic of Life – Città Nuova