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Pathways to Unity: “The Art of Christian Loving”

Oreste Basso: a life spent turning the world into a family

14 Apr 2013 | Non categorizzato

A sudden and unexpected decline in his health over the last few days led to his death a half an hour after midnight. His life, the richness of his humanity and his smile are imprinted upon the hearts of thousands of persons he encouraged in the long years he spent in the service of God and the ideal of unity, which he got to know in his youth in Milan.

We will write more of his life story at a later date. In the meantime, those who wish to honour him may do so in the chapel of the International Centre of the Focolare Movement, in Rocca di Papa, where from 2 o’clock this afternoon (Italian time) he will be lying in state.

The funeral will be tomorrow, 15 April, at 15:00, at the Focolare International Centre in Rocca di Papa.

Couples in Crisis: Reigniting the Flame

9 Apr 2013 | Non categorizzato

‘We married for love and our married life had normal ups and downs. When we got to know the spirituality of unity, it seemed that our rapport reached its maximum. Instead, four years ago we hit a crisis that we never imagined,’ said Silvia, who has been married to Stefano for thirty years. She is a primary school teacher, he runs a business. They have two children.

She went on to explain, ‘We thought we’d built a solid relationship, and yet bit by bit we came to the point of not understanding one another anymore. There was no dialogue between us and the days passed by in utter bleakness, what with work and other chores to do, crushed by our family problems. We became indifferent to each another, perhaps because we had taken our love for granted.

‘For my part,’ Stefano said, ‘I had let myself become absorbed by a pile of worries at work and they were always on my mind. Silvia tried to make me understand her difficulties, but I was caught up in the whirl of business and I saw only the surface of things. Between Silvia and me the wall was so high that even our children noticed it. It was at that point that I realized how much I was hurting us and people round about us. During a New Families meeting we felt we should talk about our problem. We were accepted without reserve just as we were and appreciated for our sincerity.

‘Later we heard about the Course to Strengthen the Unity of Couples held in Loppiano, an international little town of the Focolare, in Italy. It deals specifically with moments of crisis. We went to one with a desire to start again.

‘Sharing with other couples who had the same problems we did really helped: we were not alone in facing these things that at the beginning we were too ashamed to tell anyone.

‘That week for us was like relighting the flame. We realized that we had to give space to one another and harmony returned between us. Our children were the first to benefit from our newfound peace.’

The Course to Strengthen the Unity of Couples looks at issues to do with self-knowledge, diversity, conflict, acceptance and there are moments of facing the problems head on, others of dialogue, practical exercises, and everything is interspersed with moments of relaxing together and trips out.

The good relations among the people taking part helps the gradual coming together of the couple.

Often the couple find their own feet and manage to go ahead on their own, sometimes a specific wound is spotted requiring particular attention, even, if need be, with psychological support.

If the time together proves especially challenging, there is the possibility for couples to come back for special courses in the winter and the spring. In these weekends, often families from previous years wish to give a hand because they have benefitted from those who have helped before them.

April 2013

2 Apr 2013 | Non categorizzato, Word of

‘Beloved, do not grumble against one another.’

Even at the time of the Apostles, therefore, we can see what we also find in our communities today. Often the greatest difficulties in living our faith are not those from outside, that is, from the world, so much as those from within. They come from certain situations that arise within the community and from attitudes and actions of our neighbours out of step with the Christian ideal. All this generates a feeling of uneasiness, mistrust and upset.

‘Beloved, do not grumble against one another.’

But even though all these more or less serious contradictions and inconsistencies stem from a faith that is not always enlightened and a love of God and neighbour that is still very imperfect, as Christians our first reaction should not be impatience and inflexibility but what Jesus taught. He tells us to wait patiently, be understanding and merciful, which helps develop that seed of goodness sown in us, as explained in the parable of weeds among the wheat (Mt. 13:24-30; 36-43).

‘Beloved, do not grumble against one another.’

How then can we live the Word of Life this month? It presents us with a difficult aspect of Christian life. We, too, belong to various communities – the family, the parish, the workplace, the civic community and associations of various kinds. Unfortunately, in these communities there may be many things that we feel are not right: attitudes, points of view, ways of doing things, lapses that pain us and make us feel like rejecting others.

These then are many opportunities to live the Word of Life for this month well. Instead of moaning or passing judgement, as we would be tempted to do, let’s be tolerant and understanding. Then, as far as it is possible, let’s also correct one another as brothers and sisters. Above all, let’s give a Christian witness by responding to any possible lack of love or commitment with a greater love and commitment on our part.

Chiara Lubich

(First published December 1989)