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Between Heaven and Earth

 
In paragraphs 163–164 of Amoris Laetitia, Pope Francis reflects on married love as something living and dynamic, capable of growing and deepening over time. In a world where couples often share many decades of life together, spouses are called to keep choosing one another day after day, building a relationship rooted in trust, fidelity, forgiveness, and mutual growth. Even as life changes and the years pass, genuine love does not diminish; instead, it can evolve into a deeper tenderness and a more profound communion. Marriage, then, is not simply a bond to preserve, but a journey to renew continually, sustained by God’s grace throughout every stage of life.The testimony we share here reminds us that true love is not only about happiness and harmony, but about remaining faithful to one another each day, trusting in God, and allowing even suffering to become a path toward unity, faith, and self-giving. To love in this way, especially in difficult times, is perhaps one of the most powerful and luminous witnesses we can offer the world.

I am a believer, and during an engagement preparation meeting, among the many topics related to family life, I was especially touched by the story shared by the parents of a young woman who had transformed her illness into a path toward God by accepting and embracing her suffering day after day. As we left that meeting, I told my fiancé that I too wanted to build a strong family, founded on the love that Jesus teaches in the Gospel.

We got married knowing that nothing could be taken for granted and that everything had to be built day by day, through mutual love between us and openness toward others. Alongside many joys, we also faced difficulties related to work, relationships, and the illness of a family member. But our greatest trial came when my husband, at the age of forty-four, was diagnosed with a serious form of cancer.

Through alternating periods of intense suffering and moments of recovery, he lived what could humanly be described as a true calvary. During five very long years of illness, he gradually lost part of his hearing, his sight, the ability to swallow, and eventually the use of his legs. Yet that extremely difficult time was also filled with grace, and my husband lived it with extraordinary dignity and serenity. I believe that strength came from the presence of Jesus among us, as we reminded each other every time a new trial arose, and every morning before beginning the day. Meanwhile, our love continued to grow and become purified, until it became a deep union of souls unlike anything we had ever experienced before. It gave meaning and light to everything we lived, making us feel that even suffering had become sacred. Each day, I offered this pain to Jesus: every act of love for Him, every “yes” to a situation that seemed impossible to understand.

Throughout his illness, my husband became an example of faith for our children and for everyone who came close to us. He continued to pray and hope until the very end, fully aware that he was preparing to meet the Father. About a month before his death, he asked to receive the Anointing of the Sick, saying: “I want to receive this sacrament now, while I am still fully conscious.” He left us many precious words, some carrying the weight of a final testament: “I do not want to leave you, but I believe in God and in His love. I have said my ‘yes’ to Him without ever turning back. Please continue to love me and speak to me, and I will always be with you.”

Even after his death, I have felt that life must continue through the commitment to love every person I meet each day: within my family, with my children, where I must now be both mother and father; at work, listening to the voice of God within me. That inner voice is born from the deep dialogue between us, a dialogue that death has not interrupted but that continues “between heaven and earth,” allowing me to experience, now as then, the peace that only union with God can give.

Everyday life offers endless opportunities to pass on the strength that comes to me from heaven. One day, speaking with someone who confided in me about a painful crisis in her marriage, I said to her: “How I wish I were in your place, how I wish I could begin again, forgive, rebuild unity with my husband; how I wish I could still tell him how much I love him! Every day is precious — do not waste the time you still have to love one another.” With tears in her eyes, she could not stop thanking me.

In my parish, I am part of a group of families who, together with our parish priest, accompany engaged couples in marriage preparation courses. It is never easy to share my story: every time, it feels as though I am reliving the pain and touching those wounds once more. Yet I never fail to experience the deep gratitude of the young couples who listen. One evening, after hearing my testimony, the priest simply said there was nothing more to add and invited everyone to conclude with the Lord’s Prayer: “Anything said after this testimony could only diminish the grace of this moment.”
(Source: da Famiglie in Azione – Ed. Città Nuova 2022)

Photo create by IA

Questions for family discussion

  • At what moments in our daily lives do we feel that we are truly ‘choosing’ each other as a couple?
  • Are we able to ask for forgiveness and start afresh without holding a grudge?
  • When faced with difficulties, are we able to ask for help and allow others to support us?
  • What is one practical thing we could do as early as this week to show our partner more love?

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