I come from a divided family background; I was born from an extramarital relationship of my father. Because of this, he kept my existence a secret, and for a long time—especially as a child—I experienced his temporary absence.
I felt there was something dark or hidden in my story. What I didn’t know was that Jesus would begin a process of radical conversion in my father’s life, one that would lead him to become a Pentecostal pastor.
My story and the sense of abandonment could very well have been reasons to turn away from faith. However, that is not what happened. Faced with the experience of abandonment, I couldn’t help but wonder about the kind of love that, even amid a child’s pain, had reached my father’s life. I often asked myself, “What kind of love is this, capable of piercing through the pain I’m feeling?” At age 16, during a high school graduation cruise, I encountered that love. One evening, sitting at the top of the ship, I clearly heard the Lord’s voice speak to my heart: “You weren’t born to do what your friends are doing, Mayara, you are mine.” Thanks to what began that night, I became a committed Pentecostal.
At the age of 19, I enrolled in the Pontifical Catholic University of São Paulo (Brazil) to study theology. In a story that only the Holy Spirit could write, I became President of the Academic Centre and of the Student Theology Commission for the state of São Paulo. I became good friends with some seminarians, had contact with various dioceses and religious orders and several priests often visited my home. At first, my mother joked, “I never imagined I’d have so many priests in my house, Mayara.”
Through that experience, I decided to write my final thesis on Christian unity. But as I began to explore what path to take, many things happened that led me to reflect on my family history. I went through a deep process of forgiveness and reconciliation. And so, as I forgave, I wrote. I always remembered how painful it can be to come from a divided family. But it was precisely in those moments that the Lord also asked me: “And my family, the Church?” I felt I could and indeed had to, join my experience of abandonment to that of Jesus.
“I decided to write my final thesis on Christian unity (…) and many things happened that led me to reflect on my family history. I went through a deep process of forgiveness and reconciliation.”.
In the photo: Mayara during the Ecumenical Congress in Castel Gandolfo in March 2025
Drawing from the shared heritage of Sacred Scripture, I concluded that painful period with a thesis entitled: “The Spirit and the Bride Say: Come! The Figure of the Bride as a Prophetic Response to the Unity of the Church”. It was this step led me into Catholic-Pentecostal dialogue: with the Commission for Unity of the Catholic Charismatic Renewal-SP and the “We Are One” mission. Founded by laypeople within a Catholic community (Coração Novo–RJ), the We Are One Mission is based on a letter of intent signed by Catholic and Evangelical leaders that outlines four pillars for dialogue: respect for confessional identities, ecclesiality, non-proselytism and a culture of encounter. The city of Rio de Janeiro even officially recognizes a “We Are One Week” which has surprisingly been declared part of the city’s intangible cultural heritage. In practice, the Mission brings together Evangelical, Catholic and Pentecostal leaders with a common purpose: to proclaim the unity of Christians. Theological dialogue was made possible by the creation of a national Catholic-Pentecostal working group (WG). Its aim is to reflect theologically and pastorally on the charismatic-pentecostal experience, starting from the Latin American context. We recently published our first report, the result of our meetings, on the gifts of the Holy Spirit. In 2022, the We Are One Youth Mission began, a group in which I am wholeheartedly and actively involved. For these reasons, I see the We Are One Mission as a sign of hope. First, for all the communion I’ve experienced and secondly, because my personal story is undoubtedly intertwined with it.
Entrusted with the role of being “pilgrims of hope,” I would like to conclude with a phrase my father often repeats when telling the story of our family. He says, countless times, that our story was born in pain and wounds but was bathed in God’s infinite love: “Tribulation became vocation.” When my father glimpses this reality, he always quotes St. Paul’s letter to the Romans: “Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more” (Romans 5:20). Paraphrasing this biblical text, during this 2025Week of Prayer for Christian Unity, in the year of the Jubilee and the celebration of many significant anniversaries such as the Council of Nicaea, I am encouraged and led to believe that: amidst so many deep wounds throughout the Church’s history, God is surely making His hope abound.
Up2Me is a training and education program on affectivity and sexuality offered by the Focolare Movement. It started in 2015 as a response to the educational challenges facing the young generations of the third millennium. Today it is active in 35 countries around the world, with tailored paths for every age group: children with their families, pre-adolescent and adolescent children (with a parallel path for their parents) and young adults.
We spoke to Paolo and Teresa Radere, long-time educators, especially with Focolare’s younger generations, about the path suitable for children aged 4-8 years.
Team Up2Me Children
Paolo, Teresa, what is Up2Me for Children?
It is an experience that children can have with their parents, an itinerary for integral formation starting from the development of the emotional, affective, and sexual dimensions. It also engages the spiritual realm and existential intelligence, to foster from childhood a deep and open perspective on the world and others. The pathway promotes positive relationships, creativity in dialogue, acceptance, respect for each person’s uniqueness and a foundation for personal and communal growth and openness to others.
Who is it for?
It is open to all families with children aged 4-8 years. If, as happens in many families, there are older or younger children, participation in Up2Me is not a problem but an opportunity, because it is the whole family that has an experience. The course is also open to children in foster care, those with separated or single parents—in such cases, the child is accompanied by a trusted adult (one of the two natural or foster parents or both, an uncle, a grandparent ….).
The project can be run in family groups, parishes, or schools.
What are the objectives?
For children, the aim is to have shared experiences with their parents and other reference adults, which is necessary for the development of their identity and for an integral and harmonious growth. They learn to recognize, welcome and express in a context-appropriate way primary emotions with a positive value; experience good and effective communication with parents; develop interiority, self-knowledge, grow in the spiritual dimension – understood as the ability to contemplate and transcend, learn to take care of one’s body, others, nature.
For parents, on the other hand, the course is useful in fostering growth in the ability to dialogue between generations within the family, between families and with contemporary culture to enhance their latent potential; to deepen knowledge about the child’s socio-cognitive and psychological development and the type of relationships that favour it; to understand how parents’ behaviour and relationship with their children affect their growth and learn good educational practices for emotional regulation; and to learn about the influence of new technologies in the upbringing of children and the role of parents in it.
What does the programme include?
From the experience and study of these years and to shape the path undertaken, we have chosen the metaphor of ‘a journey together towards happiness’. We have chosen to work on the emotional-relational education of children because this forms the basis of their affective and sexual relationship; emotions then allow the body and mind to be articulated, which favours integral personal growth. The experiential training method allows parents and children to share their daily experiences in community meetings, to dialogue, to deepen and enlighten, thus building a new knowledge that comes from their own wisdom and that of others.
The content is presented through a plurality of languages: play, movement, sensory, iconic representation, narration, images and dance as characteristics of the approach to the different themes.
The metaphor of a plane trip gives the child the image of the continuity of the journey, the sense of expectation and discovery, the need for work in preparation for the trip. After each stage the experience continues at home because each family unit is given a proposal that helps to continue the dialogue and the climate built with the aim of seeking spaces for growth as a family.
We are Aureliana and Julián from Paraguay, married for 36 years, with five children and six grandchildren.
JULIAN: Aureliana was 18 and I was 19 when we married. We were deeply in love and excited to build our life together. The first five years were wonderful, we were great partners, we worked together, helped each other and complemented one another. But after seven years of marriage, we entered a deep crisis that almost led to separation. Communication became difficult: we couldn’t talk about ourselves or our relationship and this gradually distanced us. Still, we both wanted to do our best for our daughters and to progress economically. Each of us lived in our own way, we argued a lot, but managed to keep going.
AURELIANA: When our daughters reached adolescence, one of them was very rebellious and, at 17, she became pregnant and went to live with her partner. That was when we started seeking support to strengthen ourselves as parents, also in a spiritual way. We began attending family group meetings and spiritual retreats. That helped us overcome tough challenges, with each of us putting in a lot of goodwill.
JULIAN: We had achieved economic stability, we had a good family, good health and a well-established family business – we had everything! One day, I started interacting with someone through social media, we got to know each other, and I began an extramarital relationship. At the same time, my sick father was living with us and our daughter was finding it very hard to adapt to motherhood. Aureliana had to stretch herself thin to support her, keep working and manage the home. I was deeply involved in that affair and did nothing to help Aureliana. In fact, I claimed I had no time, she would complain and I would get angry. At that time, we travelled to Europe and during the trip, Aureliana found out about my infidelity. Everything collapsed. We were far from everyone, alone within the four walls of a hotel room.
AURELIANA: My world fell apart! I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t believe something like this had happened. At first, I stayed silent, hoping we could finish the trip, but then I exploded: I broke the silence by screaming, crying and demanding an answer. He, for his part, began to desperately beg for mercy, asking forgiveness from God and from me and despite the terrible pain I was in, it touched my heart. I knew I had to take a step and I placed all my trust in God’s help to do so. I finally managed to see the face of the crucified Jesus in Julián. I opened my arms to him and we calmed down a little. However, despite this interior step, I was still often overwhelmed by pain and sadness.
“That is what we want to proclaim to the world: we are here in order to be ‘one’ as the Lord wants us to be ‘one,’ in our families and in those places where we live, work and study. Different, yet one; many, yet one; always, in every situation and at every stage of life. (…) Let us not forget: families are the cradle of the future of humanity.”
JULIAN: At night, Aureliana couldn’t sleep, she cried. She was diagnosed with depression. I felt helpless and guilty. I prayed a lot. I felt that my wife and family were incredibly precious to me, but the damage was done. I had to accept my mistake, but I also wanted to give my all and trust in God.
AURELIANA: Our family was divided, the children didn’t know whom to blame and they rebelled. Then Julián became ill: he was diagnosed with a brain tumour. That shook me deeply and almost snapped me out of my depression. After receiving the CT scan results, we gathered with our children and looked for the best surgical option. We felt that the unity of our family was the most precious good, more than any disagreement. I came to realize that I was once again capable of giving my life for my husband and fully living out my fidelity to him, “in sickness and in health.”
JULIAN: I felt loved and managed to undergo two brain surgeries with record recovery times. Immediately after being discharged, we had the opportunity to attend a retreat for couples in crisis, as we still needed to heal our wounds.
AURELIANA: That retreat helped me clarify many doubts. We received great affection from the participants and benefited from the presence of professionals and couples with many years of experience. We discovered a new path forward.
JULIAN: I realized that the will to forgive is one thing, but healing the trauma is a process. The wound I had caused was very deep and she needed time, patience, and love from me. I received the greatest gift from God—her forgiveness. We renewed our marriage vows, Aureliana said her “YES” to me again forever, and we started over.
AURELIANA: Our life has completely changed. After 35 years of marriage, we stopped fighting. We now live a full life as a couple and can look each other in the eyes and love each other like never before.
Every day terrible things are happening all around us and sometimes they are on such a scale that they overwhelm us and make us feel helpless: migrants are losing their lives as they undertake journeys in desperate conditions, people are experiencing the daily tragedy of war and dramatic social injustices continue to plague the planet.
“What can I do?” This question may leave us feeling paralyzed and tempt us to close in on ourselves in an attitude of resigned individualism. The first hurdle to overcome is to allow ourselves to be cross-examined by that very question. “What can I do?”
The fishermen on the shores of Lampedusa in Italy asked themselves this and then connected with generous people in the area forming a network that was able to reach out to others. They began by saving one, then ten, then a hundred and then thousands of desperate castaways who were abandoned to the waves of the Mediterranean Sea. There are also communities living in areas that border on war zones (in Europe, Africa, Asia…) who have asked themselves the same question. They welcomed people into their homes not on the basis of political or economic calculation, but because of natural human compassion. It’s in situations like this that you can see small or large daily “miracles” which are not utopian dreams but are the actions upon which the society of the future is built.
Professor Russell Pearce [1] of Fordham School of Law in New York emphasised that it is important to seek for hope and not wait for it to come to us. He conducted interviews with people from two organizations that promote dialogue and peace between Israelis and Palestinians – Parents Circle and Combatants for Peace – and sought to understand how their members managed to maintain relationships with each other in the aftermath of 7 October 2023 and during the subsequent war in Gaza.
Why have these groups sustained their ties with one another? Why have these ties even become stronger? Both Palestinians and Israelis reported that their dialogue has been transformative and described it as a dialogue of love. A Palestinian participant observed, “The change we experienced was a very “sacred journey” for each of us and left an impact and a deep bond in our souls. It was a process that transformed the other person into a brother or sister.”
An Israeli member also commented, “We worked to build trust and become a family, years of sacred work with all the challenges, dynamics and doubts.” Pearce concluded by saying that the Jewish sages teach that “if you save one life, you save the whole world”; a Palestinian who leads the Parents Circle youth programme explained, “If you change one person, you change a whole world.”
Chiara Lubich wrote, “The most visible aspect of unity is fraternity. This certainly seems the best way to counteract the prevailing norms of society (…) to reach greater freedom and equality. (…) It is a sound way for those who hold the fate of humanity in their hands but also for mothers of families, for volunteers who work for solidarity in the world, for those who share their company’s profits to help eliminate poverty and for those who oppose war. Thus, fraternity “from above” and fraternity “from below” will meet in peace.” [2]
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THE IDEA OF THE MONTH is currently produced by the Focolare Movement’s “Centre for Dialogue with People of Non religious Beliefs”. It is an initiative that began in 2014 in Uruguay to share with non-believing friends the values of the Word of Life, i.e. the phrase from Scripture that members of the Movement strive to put into practice in their daily lives. Currently, THE IDEA OF THE MONTH is translated into 12 languages and distributed in more than 25 countries, with adaptations of the text according to different cultural sensitivities. dialogue4unity.focolare.org
[1] R. Pearce: “Dialogo e Pace sostenibili” [Ekklesia-Sentieri di Comunione e Dialogo- n.4 Octtober December 2024].
[2] C. Lubich, No alla sconfitta della pace, in «Città Nuova» n. 24/2003
